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What Would Stoics Do

Seneca · c. 4 BCE – 65 CE

On Benefits 7.29 — Seneca

Translation by Aubrey Stewart (1887)

Seneca, On Benefits 7.29

You say, “I have lost the benefit which I bestowed.” Yet do we say that we have lost what we consecrate to heaven, and a benefit well bestowed, even though we get an ill return for it, is to be reckoned among things consecrated. Our friend is not such a man as we hoped he was; still, let us, unlike him, remain the same as we were. The loss did not take place when he proved himself so; his ingratitude cannot be made public without reflecting some shame upon us, since to complain of the loss of a benefit is a sign that it was not well bestowed. As far as we are able we ought to plead with ourselves on his behalf: “Perhaps he was not able to return it, perhaps he did not know of it, perhaps he will still do so.” A wise and forbearing creditor prevents the loss of some debts by encouraging his debtor and giving him time. We ought to do the same, we ought to deal tenderly with a weakly sense of honour.
— Seneca, On Benefits 7.29 · tr. Aubrey Stewart (1887)Read in context →

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Seneca, On Benefits 7.29, tr. Aubrey Stewart (1887)

https://whatwouldstoicsdo.com/passage/on-benefits/7.29

Seneca, Dialogues, tr. Aubrey Stewart (1887–1889). Text: Standard Ebooks (CC0). Sources and licences

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In plain English

AI-written notes

A kindness that got a poor return is not lost, but belongs among things given freely and for good, so stay the person you were even if your friend turned out not to be what you hoped. Make excuses for him, perhaps he could not repay or did not know, and treat a weak sense of honour as a patient creditor treats a struggling debtor.

Older wording

“consecrate”
— dedicate as holy
“forbearing”
— patient and restrained

Themes and situations

  • Gratitude
  • Kindness and forgiveness
  • Anger
  • Acceptance and fate
  • Betrayal
  • Trouble with a friend

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