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What Would Stoics Do

Common dilemmas

What would the Stoics do?

Some situations come up again and again: a lost job, a colleague who gets under your skin, a loss that won’t lift. Each page below sets out what the Stoics offer for one of them — their own words, quoted verbatim with full citations, and a clearly labelled explanation of how those words apply today.

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Work and ambition

  • A co-founder who misses deadlines

    Co-founder keeps missing deadlines? Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus on anger, partnership and what to do next, quoted verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca · Epictetus

  • A colleague taking credit

    A colleague took credit for your work? Marcus Aurelius and Seneca on recognition, rivalry and fairness, in their own words, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca

  • A difficult boss

    A boss who belittles or micromanages you? Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on keeping your dignity and your sense of your own worth, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • A failing business

    Your startup or business is failing? Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus on effort, outcome and what is still yours, quoted verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus

  • A harsh performance review

    A harsh or unfair performance review? Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus on criticism, quoted verbatim and cited, with one practical step for today.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca · Epictetus

  • A job rejection

    Rejected after an interview? Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius on effort, outcomes and trying again, quoted verbatim and cited, with a step for today.

    Quoting Epictetus · Seneca · Marcus Aurelius

  • A public mistake at work

    Made a visible mistake at work? Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus on getting it wrong in public, quoted verbatim and cited, with one step for today.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca · Epictetus

  • Being passed over for promotion

    Someone else got the promotion you wanted? Epictetus and Seneca on resentment, comparison and the price of getting ahead, quoted verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Seneca

  • Burnout

    Exhausted and overworked? Seneca and Marcus Aurelius on rest, doing less and accepting help, quoted verbatim and cited, with one step for today.

    Quoting Seneca · Marcus Aurelius

  • Having to make layoffs

    Having to lay people off? Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus on doing a hard duty well, quoted verbatim and cited, with one practical step for today.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca · Epictetus

  • Imposter syndrome

    Feel like a fraud at work? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on imposter syndrome, quoted verbatim and cited, with one practical step for today.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • Losing a job

    Made redundant or let go? How Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca would face losing a job: their words, verbatim and cited, plus one step for today.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus · Seneca

  • Office politics

    Gossip, cliques and office politics? Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus on staying straight at work, quoted verbatim and cited, with one step for today.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca · Epictetus

  • Procrastination

    Putting off work that matters? Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus on procrastination, quoted verbatim and cited, with one practical step for today.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca · Epictetus

Relationships

  • A breakup

    Heartbroken after a breakup? How Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca would face a relationship ending: their words, verbatim and cited, plus one step.

    Quoting Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius · Seneca

  • A friend who betrayed you

    Betrayed by a close friend? How Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus would handle broken trust and the urge to hit back: their words, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus

  • A friendship ending

    A friendship fading or over? How Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca would handle drifting apart: their words, verbatim and cited, plus one step.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus · Seneca

  • Criticism from in-laws

    In-laws who criticise you? How Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius would handle the remarks and the dread: their words, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • Difficult parents

    Critical or controlling parents? How Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca would handle them: their words, verbatim and cited, plus one step for today.

    Quoting Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius · Seneca

  • Divorce

    Going through a divorce? How Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus would handle anger, blame and starting again: their words, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca · Epictetus

  • Family arguments

    The same family row every visit? How Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius would handle recurring rows: their words, verbatim and cited, plus one step.

    Quoting Epictetus · Seneca · Marcus Aurelius

  • Forgiving someone

    Struggling to forgive? Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus on pardon, revenge and letting go of a grudge, in their own words, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca · Epictetus

  • Jealousy in a relationship

    Jealous in your relationship? Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus on suspicion, first impressions and what is yours to control, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca · Epictetus

  • Loneliness

    Feeling lonely? Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius on solitude, friendship and being good company for yourself, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Seneca · Marcus Aurelius

  • Raising a teenager

    Constant rows with your teenager? Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus on correcting without rancour and what a parent controls, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus

  • Rude people

    Worn down by rude or ungrateful people? Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca on patience, ingratitude and not taking it home, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus · Seneca

  • Unrequited love

    In love with someone who doesn’t love you back? Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on desire, letting go and what is yours to control, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

Loss, illness and mortality

  • A serious diagnosis

    Facing a frightening diagnosis? Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on illness as part of life, the doctor’s news and keeping the future in its place. Cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • Caring for a sick relative

    Caring for a sick parent or partner? Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca on staying, accepting help and needing rest. Verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius · Seneca

  • Chronic pain

    Living with ongoing pain? Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and a Stoic with gout on separating pain from the verdicts we pile on it. Verbatim, cited.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus · Cicero

  • Fear of death

    Afraid of dying? Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca on separating death from the dread of it, and turning that fear into living well. Verbatim, cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius · Seneca

  • Getting older

    Struggling with getting older? Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus on the beauty of ripeness, living long versus being long alive, and accepting change.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Seneca · Epictetus

  • Grief

    Grieving someone close? Seneca on why mourning is natural, why tears should one day stop, and how memory can become a comfort. Verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Seneca

  • Losing a pet

    Grieving a dog, cat or other pet? Seneca and Epictetus on gratitude for joy that ends and caring for a life that was never fully ours. Verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus

  • Moving away from home

    Homesick after moving away or abroad? Seneca, writing from exile, with Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on making a home where you are. Verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • The death of a parent

    Grieving a mother or father? Seneca and Marcus Aurelius on replaying the last days, the years you did have and carrying their example. Verbatim, cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Marcus Aurelius

Anger, fear and the mind

  • Anger at a colleague

    Furious with a colleague? How Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius approached anger: verbatim, cited passages and one step to take before you react.

    Quoting Epictetus · Seneca · Marcus Aurelius

  • Anger and a quick temper

    Quick to lose your temper? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on catching anger early and starving the habit: verbatim, cited passages.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • Anxiety about the future

    Lying awake worrying about what might happen? Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca on what-ifs and living in the present: verbatim, cited passages.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus · Seneca

  • Being insulted or mocked

    Mocked or insulted in front of others? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on why an insult needs your help to land: verbatim, cited passages.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • Breaking a bad habit

    Can’t break a bad habit? Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca on how habits grow, starting again after a slip and steady progress, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius · Seneca

  • Envy

    Envious of a friend’s success? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on comparison, keeping honest accounts and running your own race: verbatim, cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • Everyday irritations

    Wound up by delays, queues and small annoyances? Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca on expecting friction and letting it go, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus · Seneca

  • Fear of failure

    Too afraid of failing to try? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on committing to the effort and releasing the outcome: verbatim, cited passages.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • Nerves before a big presentation

    Dreading a presentation, exam or interview? Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius on nerves, applause and the task in front of you: verbatim, cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Seneca · Marcus Aurelius

  • Online criticism

    Piled on or abused online? Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius on strangers’ opinions, spite and staying steady, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Seneca · Marcus Aurelius

  • Overthinking

    Replaying conversations and reading into every reply? Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca on adding nothing to the facts: verbatim, cited passages.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus · Seneca

  • Regret

    Haunted by a decision you can’t undo? Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca on regret, self-blame and making use of the present, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Epictetus · Seneca · Marcus Aurelius

  • What other people think

    Worried about what others think of you? Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca on approval, people-pleasing and your own judgement, verbatim and cited.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus · Seneca

Money, time and the good life

  • A hard decision

    Torn over a big decision? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on acting without certainty, counting the cost and committing: verbatim, cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • An ethical dilemma at work

    Asked to cut corners at work? Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca on integrity under pressure and what honesty can cost: verbatim, cited.

    Quoting Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus · Seneca

  • Being too busy

    Always busy and never caught up? Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus on busyness, purpose and reclaiming your time: verbatim, cited Stoic passages.

    Quoting Seneca · Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus

  • Comparing yourself on social media

    Feel worse after scrolling? Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus on appearances, display and your real worth: verbatim, cited Stoic passages.

    Quoting Seneca · Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus

  • Being in debt

    In debt and dreading the post? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on fear, thrift and accepting help: verbatim, cited Stoic passages.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • Feeling life is slipping by

    Feel life is slipping by? Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus on time, attention and starting now rather than one day: verbatim, cited passages.

    Quoting Seneca · Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus

  • Finding purpose

    Searching for meaning or purpose? Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca on choosing an aim and being useful where you are: verbatim, cited passages.

    Quoting Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius · Seneca

  • Handling success

    Success going to your head? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on praise, staying grounded and holding good fortune lightly: verbatim, cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Marcus Aurelius · Epictetus

  • Living simply

    Torn between luxury and a simpler life? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on wealth, wanting less and owning things lightly: verbatim, cited.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • Losing money

    Lost money on a bad investment? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on the sting of loss, blame and what is still yours: verbatim, cited passages.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

  • Wanting more money

    Never feel you have enough money? Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius on desire, limits and enjoying what you have: verbatim, cited Stoic passages.

    Quoting Seneca · Epictetus · Marcus Aurelius

Facing something else?

Every situation is a little different. Describe yours in a few sentences and we’ll find the passages that speak to it — quoted verbatim, cited in full — with a labelled explanation of how they apply.

Ask the Stoics

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