The situation
I manage a team of twelve and I’ve been told I have to let four of them go by the end of the month. They’re good people and some of them have families. I feel sick about it, I’m not sleeping, and I don’t know how I’m going to face them.
Your situation, reframed
AI interpretationFeeling sick about this shows that you take your responsibility to these people seriously. In Stoic terms, the decision to cut the team may not be yours, but the way it is carried out largely is: whether people hear the truth clearly and promptly, and whether they are treated with dignity. That is where your duty now lies, and it is a real one.
The dichotomy of control
AI interpretationYours to act on
- Telling people clearly, honestly and as soon as you are allowed to
- Treating each person with dignity, in private and in person
- Pressing for fair selection and decent support for those leaving
- Being present for the people who stay
Not yours
- The business conditions behind the cuts
- The parts of the decision made above you
- How each person reacts to the news
- Whether everyone thinks you handled it well
The Stoics said
Verbatim from the source · full citationsMarcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.5
This is the chief thing: Be not perturbed, for all things are according to the nature of the universal; and in a little time thou wilt be nobody and nowhere, like Hadrian and Augustus. In the next place having fixed thy eyes steadily on thy business look at it, and at the same time remembering that it is thy duty to be a good man, and what man’s nature demands, do that without turning aside; and speak as it seems to thee most just, only let it be with a good disposition and with modesty and without hypocrisy.
Seneca, On Benefits 2.5 ¶1–6
Nothing is more bitter than long uncertainty; some can bear to have their hopes extinguished better than to have them deferred. Yet many men are led by an unworthy vanity into this fault of putting off the accomplishment of their promises, merely in order to swell the crowd of their suitors, like the ministers of royalty, who delight in prolonging the display of their own arrogance, hardly thinking themselves possessed of power unless they let each man see for a long time how powerful they are. They do nothing promptly, or at one sitting; they are indeed swift to do mischief, but slow to do good. Be sure that the comic poet speaks the most absolute truth in the verses:— “Know you not this? …
Epictetus, Enchiridion 17
Remember that thou art an actor in a play, of such a kind as the teacher (author) may choose; if short, of a short one; if long, of a long one: if he wishes you to act the part of a poor man, see that you act the part naturally; if the part of a lame man, of a magistrate, of a private person, (do the same). For this is your duty, to act well the part that is given to you; but to select the part, belongs to another.
What this means here
AI interpretationMarcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.5
Marcus gives himself a short instruction for hard tasks: do not be thrown into turmoil, look steadily at what has to be done, and do it as a good person would. Then speak as justly as you can, but kindly, modestly and without pretence. For a layoff conversation, that rules out both hiding behind corporate language and softening the message until nobody understands it.
Translation note: Thy and thee are the old forms of your and you. Without hypocrisy means without pretending, saying plainly what you mean.
Seneca, On Benefits 2.5 ¶1–6
Seneca’s subject in this passage is favours that are promised and then kept waiting, but his opening observation applies directly to bad news. People can often bear a clear answer better than weeks of rumour and dread. Once you are permitted to tell your team, do not let uncertainty drag on for the sake of a delay that only feels gentler; prompt clarity is itself a kindness.
Epictetus, Enchiridion 17
Epictetus compares life to a play in which we do not choose our roles. You did not choose to be the manager who delivers this news, but the part has been given to you, and your task is to play it well rather than wish it away. Playing it well does not mean switching off your conscience; it includes asking hard questions about fairness and support before the conversations happen.
Translation note: The teacher here means the author of the play, standing for whatever has assigned you your circumstances.
Together, the passages narrow your responsibility to something you can actually carry. You cannot make the cuts painless, and you may not be able to reverse them. You can tell the truth plainly and soon, treat each person as a person rather than a line in a spreadsheet, and do everything in your power to see them treated fairly on the way out. That is what doing this well looks like, and it is enough to ask of yourself.
One action for today
AI interpretationRehearse the setback in advance · premeditatio malorum
Before the first conversation, write down the three sentences you will use to give the news: what is happening, why, and what support is on offer. Then picture the hardest reactions you might meet, such as anger, tears or silence, and decide in advance how you will respond to each with patience. If you have doubts about how people were selected or what help they will get, raise them with HR or your own manager now, before the meetings.
A line to carry
“This is the chief thing: Be not perturbed, for all things are according to the nature of the universal; and in a little time thou wilt be nobody and nowhere, like Hadrian and Augustus.”
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.5