Epictetus · c. 50 – c. 135 CE
Enchiridion 16 — Epictetus
Translation by George Long (1877)
Epictetus, Enchiridion 16
When you see a person weeping in sorrow either when a child goes abroad or when he is dead, or when the man has lost his property, take care that the appearance do not hurry you away with it, as if he were suffering in external things. But straightway make a distinction in your own mind, and be in readiness to say, it is not that which has happened that afflicts this man, for it does not afflict another, but it is the opinion about this thing which afflicts the man. So far as words then do not be unwilling to show him sympathy, and even if it happens so, to lament with him. But take care that you do not lament internally also.
Cite this passage
Epictetus, Enchiridion 16, tr. George Long (1877)
https://whatwouldstoicsdo.com/passage/enchiridion/16
Epictetus, Enchiridion and Fragments, tr. George Long (1877). Text: Standard Ebooks (CC0). Sources and licences
In plain English
AI-written notesWhen someone is crying over a loss, remember that it is their opinion about the loss that hurts them and not the event itself. Offer sympathy and even grieve outwardly alongside them, but take care not to take the sorrow on inwardly.
Older wording
- “appearance”
- — the impression your mind receives of something
Themes and situations
- Grief and mourning
- Community and our duty to others
- Judgements and impressions
- Kindness and forgiveness
- Bereavement
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